maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that's an acceptable place to lick
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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