So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
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