I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
