yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
