Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize