what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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