oh god the rape fog is back!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize