Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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