Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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