2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
