You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I still have a little drunk in my system
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
