I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
