So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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