420 ftw
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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