I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
