You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He better not be in your backpack
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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