I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
