I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
