I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
