If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
