Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
