This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
