My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
