Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize