I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
