I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
