I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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