Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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