question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
