the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
