let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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