there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
