I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm at about main and main street
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
