wat bout pragnant strippers??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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