all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
