Sponge bath it is.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
