BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
