You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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