He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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