I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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