I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
