I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
