I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
