you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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