About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there's paper in my vomit.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
