if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize