totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
