I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
