North Korea, Best Korea!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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