By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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