I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
