I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
