i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
