fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
