Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
