she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
