i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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