her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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