Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The power of my boobs compel you
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
