i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
