...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
