Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
