did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
how does that bad decision feel?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize