is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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