No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
