well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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