I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
