If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
