I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
